Obnoxious

There's nothing quite so offensive as a room full of foul-mouthed, twenty-something, college boys, especially in the presence of a more demure audience whom they bewilderingly assume will be impressed by such jibberish. I can't imagine why someone would want to proudly display that their vocabulary is clearly limited to 500 words, 450 of which are foul. As boorish as my mother assures me that I am, I have always, at the very least, known when to keep a civil tongue. I can confidently say that my sons will grow up endowed with more civility. I have certainly been forthright enough to bestow upon them a sense of politeness and propriety and superior sociolinguistic skills. Indeed, the heights of my ivory tower have become loftier with age and education. Nevertheless I would like to invite all of the some ten or fifteen of them that descended upon the 7-11 late at night while my pregnant wife and I were obtaining a pregnancy-motivated craving snack, and who both terrified and offended her in her delicate state, to proceed with having sexual relations with themselves, and I can only hope there is enough justice left in the world, and enough discriminating taste and common sense left in the women of the world, that it is the only relations they will ever have.

See you in hell,
Shakes.