Angry, hurt, bitter, foul-mouthed, sarcastic, sardonic, sexual, selfish, aspirations of Wall St. . . . the last person in the world you would expect to be anywhere near children. It's funny how life and fate come together in the most unexpected ways. One shattered dream, failed aspiration and broken heart after another slowly gave way to massive depression. And yet, as fate would have it, it seems the world was not done with me. Every tear I shed was overwrought, overcome, and overthrown by the smile of a child.
I am surrounded by children in my life, which has made many gasp in horror that such a man as me would even be allowed near them. Of course, I have never been one to care much for the indignities of the self-righteous. Nevertheless, I certainly didn't try to argue with them. I neither liked kids, nor wanted the job. But hidden under the seething anger, and the selfishness, and the sadness, somehow, by accident, there was a good father. Not perfect, but good.
A penchant for Shakespeare and a talent for acting exposed the kids to the canon of literature in its best light. A sardonic sense of humour kept them all laughing and endowed them with superior vocabularies and a heightened sense of the inappropriate. The ability to survive the most adverse situations with the heaviest heart filled the children with awe and respect, even in the face of severe poverty which children never really understand. And the love, . . . the unexpected LOVE - all my hatred, rage, fear, lust, and vengeance could not defeat the overwhelming love.
Success has become subjective. Failure has become a way of life. As unlikely as it seems, and for all my faults, a plethora of little people unquestioningly, unwittingly, and with total trust, call me, "Dad". Happy Father's Day!
See you in hell,
Shakes.
1 comment:
I believe, Dave, that your children are your salvation. Without them I sometimes wonder down what roads your life might have led. Amazing, it is, what the responsibility for and love of a child can do.
Barb
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