Three Wise Men

There are three things that my older brother Peter told me that I will never forget. At a time when I was not behaving like someone you would look up to, he said to me in anger that I represented all of the things about humanity that he hated. These were harsh words, to be sure, but intended to get me to examine myself and decide whom I really wanted to be. It was, at the very least, effective in getting me to take a hard, honest look at my own hypocrisy, if not crippling to my self-esteem. Later that same year, he would add a comment. As he watched me systemically destroy my own life, he came to me in tears. It is highly relevant that he was in tears because he is normally substantially more stoic than your average Vulcan. Apparently I was not so hated as professed. He looked at me and said, "Please stop this behaviour. I love you and I can't stand to see you destroy your life." I will NEVER forget these words. Lastly, on one occasion when I was watching him exercise his natural mechanical brilliance in the rebuilding of a mustang, and in the context of him being frustrated with a lack of career objectives, I asked him why he didn't become a mechanic. He was clearly skilled and the money was good. He responded with a beautiful simplicity. "Dave, the greatest way to ruin a hobby is to make it a career."
There are two things that my younger brother Matthew told me that I will never forget. I had lived in Ottawa for all of my life and at 28, post-marriage, I left for Daytona Beach for a year. I came back to Ottawa for only a month before I decidedly moved to BC. It was during the first absence that my little brother had become aware of his fondness for me and my second departure, after only a month in Ottawa, was emotional for him. He was visibly upset as I prepared to leave for a second time. I comforted him by telling him, "Don't worry little brother. I'll come back. I promise." His response will be a memory buried deep in my heart for the rest of my days. Through teary eyes and an unconditional loyalty, he anguished, "But you NEVER come back...and you NEVER keep your promises." I truly hope I have become a better man. I'm sorry I never came back.
There is one thing that my father told me that I will never forget. Actually there are thousands, but here I list the one that, for some reason, I remember most, and that has been the most useful to me. I have never been great at decision-making and often I am unable to see the difference between my self-interests and my self-indulgences. My Dad was trying to help with what seemed like a difficult decision to me. It would require sacrifice, surely, but its advantages far outweighed those sacrifices. Dad gave me another brilliantly simple and obvious piece of advice. "You can wake up tomorrow and change your life forever." Thank you, Dad. I wonder what I'll do tomorrow morning...
See you in hell,
Shakes.