Patry+McConnell+James+Wedding=DEBAUCHERY

Where do I begin? So my cousin Shannon makes the bewildering decision to enter into the life-sucking bonds of marriage and my estranged Uncle Patrick sees fit to actually include me on the guest list. Of course that high honour didn't come free. I was asked to bring a bartender and to be prepared to DJ if the one they had hired bailed.
It was quite a scene. All of the McConnell's, Patry's and MisCampbell's were there (with obvious absences, god bless). That type of attendance has not happened in years! Tha gang's all here! So, I'm quite enjoying myself. James is comfortable and happy behind the bar; Amelia is socializing with the ladies and trying to impress my mother; I have some time to spend with Matt and long-missed family members. After having enjoyed a wide variety of alcoholic beverages and extra-curricular pharmaceuticals, I was feeling NO pain! I could barely feel my legs! Of course that was when Bruce the MC approached me and asked me to give a speech. I actually managed to pull off a fairly eloquent distilling of humour and content to end by welcoming Jason to the family. Later, Jason would approach me and say, "Hey, thanks a lot." Of course, being the ultimate Patry ambassador, I looked at him in a condescending way and said, "And you are...?" to which he responded, "I'm Jason.....the groom!"
"Ooooooh! Oh! Hey! Welcome to the family." He was pretty gracious about the whole thing.
Grampa Stan tripped the light fantastic with every girl in the house at least once. I think he took a liking to Amelia. Easy tiger!
The next morning as I was driving with Uncle Derrick and Uncle Mike back to the hall to help clean up (which I never did), an obviously still drunk Derrick was full of energy. When I asked him what time it was, he loudly and abruptly responded with, "Who stole my fuckin' watch!?!" He spent the rest of the morning looking for it. He found it in his pocket. And that's just the tip of the iceberg - I'm sure everyone has a tale to tell. I miss you all!
See you in hell,
Shakes.